Sticker Shock

by Robert Farrow

These days it is a safe bet guessing someone’s political affiliation by counting the number of stickers on the back of their car. A Conservative might have two or three, but it is almost always the liberals that have more stickers on their car then Imelda Marcos has shoes. And as the teletubbies only makes sense to a 2 year old and is incomprehensible to an adult so liberal pride themselves on stickers that would shock and confuse anyone with a decent value system or a rudimentary intelligence. One of my favorites is “I am already against the next war.” It is difficult to think of a stupider statement then that. So no matter what transpires to this country, these jellyfish will stand idly by and let the country burn. So if someone wants to take away our right to vote or worship as we choose, or take away all rights of women, they will not stop them. Yes, I know liberals might find it hard to believe there are groups out there like that. So perhaps a better sticker would be ‘thank you for dying for my freedom, because my cowardly ass will not fight for crap.” This goes along the lines of “War never solves anything;” a phrase ignorant on so many levels. A more accurate bumper sticker would be “War never solved anything, Save slavery, National Socialism, Genocide, etc.“ Hell, our nation, a nation dedicated to Democracy and religious freedom was founded by war…. dummy.

Another favorite is “Stop climate change now.” I am not sure where to start with this one. Anyone, and I mean anyone with a basic understanding of climate knows that the one thing the climate does is change because,…shocker, it is suppose to change. Remember Ravi Shankar, yeah, I know I just dated myself. Most everyone hated listening to him, but you listened to him because everyone else was. That is how liberalism is. It does not matter that an idea makes sense, but hell, everyone else is drinking to Kool-aid, so pour yourself a glass. Because if you don’t drink some, you aren’t ever going to score with the hot girl from the Green Party. (Sadly, they have the hottest girls, even if they all do not shave.) I saw an anti growth sticker the other day. It makes me wonder what these capitalist haters do for a living, for unless you live on a farm, you might actually want the economy to do well so you get a bonus and a big raise so you can buy some new shoes for your best friend on the commune.

I love “Hate is not a family value.” Ignoring the fact that just because you do not disagree with a philosophy or lifestyle does not mean you hate them, I just find it amazing that there are people that truly believe that by weakening the definition of a particular institution, you do not hurt the institution. (see family: urban culture.) And for anyone who was seen pictures of a gay pride street show in San Francisco, please tell me how that has anything to do with family values? I guess it makes sense to the same group of people that thinks increasing taxes on anyone actually helps the economy, or a smaller military makes the country more secure, or that you can trust a deal or negotiate with a dictator, or that by not building refineries and oil wells you can solve the countries energy needs. (Sorry about the run-on. Pass around the Kool-aid. The list goes on and on. But without the bumper sticker loving Kool-aid drinkers, a good looking, mumbling, terrorist befriending Marxist who goes to a racist church with a political resume as long as a toilet paper square would have no hope of being president.

Bumper stickers are fun and amusing and occasionally make a good point, but they are just that, fun and amusement that occasionally make a good point. And it is dangerous for the level of political discourse to sink to the level of bumper sticker phrases. A girl who supports BHO should be able to tell me more about her candidate then he is about “change.” The dummying down of America might help keep the Democrats in power, but does the country little good. But hey, it is about change, even if the change is back to Carter and the 70’s and puts a political novice in the most powerful position in the world. But hey, who else would keep the bumper sticker industry in business?